I am moving back to California from Santa Fe New Mexico. I am really scared becaue I am doing this without having a job. I have three kids and a wonderful husband. I want to go home and be with my grandparents. I hate it here. I cannot seem to fit in. I have gained alot of weight since I have been here. I don't like the way I look and how I act.  I know I am acting like a big baby but I want to go home!!! My family is happy that I am coming back and are willing to help out but I don't want to be a pain in the butt.